teamrocketing:

*knocks you out with a calculator* bet you weren’t counting on that

transcripts:

"true beauty is within" for example opening your fridge

european:

getting compared to the classmate you hate by your teacher is just wrong

slayboybunny:

"sir what you did is literally 100 percent illegal"
"ok but get this: im a rich white person" 
"oh sorry about that sir" 

bigrnac:

on today’s episode of “what’s wrong in my life” my blanket does not cover my feet

dosopod:

“you don’t look depressed though”

oh yeah sorry i forgot to bring my literal dark cloud with me today

thoughts of a goldfish

like
mommy:

fawun:

what the fuck is this kid on

crack, fucking crack.

shingeki-no-kou:

I wish boobs did the bra thing without having to wear the bra